"Laying In Wait"

i was tired of waiting, playing all the games and,
living in a place that was not for me.

so i thought it was time, for me to get what's mine,
and to do it all everything i dreamed.

what i thought was the best of me turned to be,
all the worst i could find.

if i run to you (Lord), will you hold me in your arms forevermore?

now i got a feeling, that i got to leave and,
find a way back to where i came from.

though i don't deserve it, i know it's unheard but,
living here without you my life is done.

i confess that i shouldn't have run from you, now i know i was wrong,
nowhere to run to,

and no one to turn to, i'm dying out here on my own,
long before i even thought of returning,

your arms are wide open, waiting for me to come home. 
"Run To You"  by  Third Day

the words of this song express the way i was feeling when i finally came to the end of myself.  i felt that i had nowhere to go.  prior to this i was a proud, tough guy, who tried every vice that came my way.  but, i knew without a doubt that something was missing in my life.

"The night is far spent, the day is at hand.  Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light."  Romans 13:12

this week i'd like to continue with a story i've entitled "Laying In Wait".  once again i want to make clear the reason for sharing these events from my past.  my intention is not to paint a picture of this lifestyle in a positive light or to draw attention to myself, but instead to show God's grace (undeserved favor) and mercy (kindness and forbearance) towards me.  which is also available to all who would believe.  God's desire is that we all would turn from our lifestyle of sin and 'run to Him'.

"Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance."  Romans 2:4

"Laying In Wait"

the peace and quiet of the early morning hour was shattered by the sound of what seemed like a hundred windows breaking.  it was a terrifying way to be awakened from a deep restless sleep.  my first thought after my head cleared was "here we go again".

i jumped out of bed and ran for the front door, i met my father and brother in the hallway.  we all ran outside just in time to see the taillights of the culprit's car turning the corner.  we turned around to see the damage that was done this time, for this was not the first time, nor would it be the last, that our house and cars would be targeted for a sneak attack by the homeboys from the neighborhood to the south.

this time it was the rear windows of the two pontiac's in the driveway belonging to my brother and i.  as we walked up to the cars we could still hear the crackling sound of the tempered glass splitting and falling out.  this time they had dented the car with the bat or bumper jack they had used to break the window out of my car.  the trunk lid and interior of both cars were filled with thousands of little pieces of glass.  this wasn't going to be any fun to clean up later this morning, it never was.

this was typical living in my life back in the seventies.  there were many nights we would be waiting up into the wee-hours of the morning, with the garage door open, guns ready, for these guys to come back by for another visit.  they did come by quit often, if not to break the windows from up close, it was to shoot at the house and cars as they drove by.  there was usually three or four of us sitting in the dark on folding chairs, talking and telling jokes, laughing and waiting.  it was not a matter of "if" they would come, but rather "when".  

 

at that time i was working in westminster at a hamburger joint, usually until midnight.  this one particular summer night, in the middle of the week, i had a near death encounter with some of the homies from that barrio to the south.

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."  Psalm 32:7

it was about 12:45 a.m. when i exited the freeway by my home and a carload of guys were laying in wait.  as i pulled onto the main boulevard the other car fell in behind me and began to follow.  looking in the rear view mirror i recognized the car and immediately knew there was going to be trouble, i only hoped that my brother and some of our friends were at my house waiting up as had become our practice lately.

i sped up to put some distance between us, trying to come up with a plan to make it home safe and alive.  of course we had no cell phones back then, so i couldn't make a call of warning, if just figured i would drive by my house and hope someone was out there to see what was happening.

as i turned onto my street i sped up a little more and began flashing my headlights off and on, trying to get my brother's attention.  when i was directly in front of my neighbor's house i put my car in neutral and stepped on the accelerator to rev the pipes as another way of attracting attention to my predicament.  

i passed by my house followed closely by my stalkers; my brother and friends were outside waiting.  i put the car back into drive and continued on to the end of the street.  i figured if i could get around the block and come by again i would give the guys and opportunity  to get some shots off.

i made a left turn at the corner and another left turn onto the next street, still being chased, now at a higher rate of speed.  i drove to the end of the block, made a skidding left turn, and another.  back on my own street my pursuers began to shoot at my car from behind, ducking down now, i kept on going straight ahead, knowing i only needed to get to my house.  when we passed my house my homeboys allow me to go by and then they open fire on the car behind me.  as i got to the corner, i again made a left turn, thinking we would do it all again, but my pursuers went right and disappeared into the night.

i cruised around the block, ever vigilant, expecting their return, it didn't happen.  i had made it home safe and alive thinking as before, how slick i was to outwit death once again.   but it was God who was present looking out for me, preparing me for a day i would run to him.

"And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20

for the next few years my neighborhood was very hot, the two gangs clashed quit often.  alot of fighting, many drive by shootings, and a great deal of death.  by the time i was 18 years old i had experienced eight deaths of friends and homeboys and many more from the other side.  lives wasted for no good reason, sons, brothers, and friends.  family's torn apart never to be the same again.   God's enemy, satan, was suceeding in the barrio.

"In their case the god of this world has blinded the mind of unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."  2 Corinthians 4:4

this type of lifestyle might seem unbelievable to you, almost surreal, but it's real i assure you.  although you may not relate to the experiences i'm describing here i know there are things happening or that have happened in your life that are just as destructive.  satan uses many avenues to tempt us away from the life we were all called to live, that is a life pleasing to God our creator.

wherever you find yourself today, whether life's good right now or your in the midst of some kind of trial, maybe financial, relational, physical or emotional, God loves you and He is there for you.  He awaits you - call on His name - just run to Jesus!

"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to man by which we must be saved."  Acts 4:12


God Bless and Press On
Larry