"You used to walk in these ways, in the life once lived. But now you must rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices." Colossians 3:7-9
It always amazes me what actions people will justify without regard for how the Bible instructs us to conduct ourselves as Christians. It seems that the lines of behavioral demarcation have been clouded in many areas and totally annihilated in others. Areas ranging from sexual sin and divorce to drug and alcohol abuse, from lack of respect for others to angry and violent outbursts.
"Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone able to teach, not resentful." 2 Timothy 2:23-24
Last weekend I was at a home Bible study and the conversation turned to a discussion on anger and how we are to act when confronted with injustice or harmful behavior toward someone we love or ourselves. One of the sisters in the group described how she had responded after she witnessed a teacher's mistreatment of her young son. I then related a personal story of an incident that took place about eighteen years ago, involving one of my sons who was ten years old at the time, a football coach and myself.
"A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated." Proverbs 14:17
We were two weeks into the season of Junior All-American football, the last day of conditioning and the boys would be getting their pads and practice uniforms at the end of practice. When practice was over the kids were told to line up to get their gear. There was a mad dash for the box of equipment and all the boys were jockeying for position. My son was a small guy back then, and was having trouble finding a place in line. He was half way down the line and the kids were still pushing each other and messing around. While they were pushing and shoving one of the coaches noticing my son out of line, went over to him and shoved him in the chest knocking him to the ground. He told him to get up and get to the back of the line, my son complied, but was upset and began to cry. He was embarrassed and his feelings were hurt.
What would you have done as the parent?
"A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel." Proverbs 15:18
Now, all this time I was on the sideline watching, when I saw my son hit the ground I was furious. I approached the head coach and asked to speak to him and his assistant coach (the shover), after they were finished distributing the gear to the kids.
"If a man be under the influence of anger his conduct will not be correct." Confucius
When the assistant coach came over to where we were standing I shoved him with both my hands to his chest and got all up in his face. I challenged him to push me like he had done to my ten year old son and see what would happen to him next. This coach was bigger than I, but I didn't care, I was about to kick his behind to show him nobody would treat my child that way.
"An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered man commits many sins." Proverbs 29:22
As things began to cool down I took a look around and realized for the first time that most of the other parents and children were still there, watching me. Here's this Christian man, this Pastor, getting crazy and trying to pick a fight with one their coaches. They were all very surprised at my behavior as was I. I had been around the league for a few years by then, and had been outspoken about my faith. I was a minister of the Lord Jesus Christ and everyone knew it, and here I was letting my anger get the best of me. Man was I embarrassed.
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." Benjamin Franklin
I've told this story several times now to different people, at work, at church, at Bible study, to other parents and the response I get most often is something like this; "you did the right thing", "I would have done the same thing" or "you have nothing to be embarrassed about". And these are some of the nicer responses, some guys and even the women talk about doing great bodily harm or worse to anyone who would hurt or injure their child or a loved one. The responses didn't seem to differ between those in the church, the Christians, and those that were not. This concerns me.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4: 31-32
Before I even left the park I began to feel the Lord's conviction in my spirit. Before I made it home I was absolutely sure that my actions and words were wrong, were sin and offensive to God. I had failed a huge test and had cast a shadow over my witness. I knew I had to apologize to these coaches, parents and kids and ask for forgiveness for my actions. But the most difficult part was having to apologize to my son for my behavior and explain to him why it was wrong. To him I was his hero, I had stood up for him, and was willing to fight for him. I know that meant a lot to him, nevertheless my actions were wrong and there was a lesson to be learned both by him and by me.
"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness." Josh Billings
Obedience, this is where the growth takes place, where you are changed. When the Holy Spirit convicts you of some wrong done, and you know by the Word what your response should be, and you do it, you grow spiritually. It's not necessarily the easy thing. Try humbling yourself and apologizing to a group of people who didn't really think you did anything wrong. I could have very easily ignored God or justified my own actions, but in doing so I wouldn't have given God an opportunity to make the necessary changes in my life.
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
I'm surprised at how often we justify the actions of the flesh -- even us Christians. We look at our circumstances through the eyes of the world instead of being led by the Spirit. Instead of living in obedience to Him we listen to the people around us saying, it's okay, you didn't do any thing wrong, I would have done the same thing, all the while ignoring God's Spirit convicting us.
"In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." Psalm 4:4
There have been other opportunities through the years for me to be tested in the area of self-control and I can't say that I've always passed. But I've become much better at hearing and obeying. I've learned not to ignore the Holy Spirit's conviction and to use it as a guide for my conduct at all times.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."
God Bless and Press On
Larry
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